Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Acid is not a monday night drug
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
