Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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