im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have post one night stand depression
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
