Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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