Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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