that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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