So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i out mim tonsoeep
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