I don't think brook has ever known best
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
