A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
