yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
