just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Terrible idea I love it
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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