I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
