That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
