PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
should my penis look like a turkey
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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