MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
