I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
