WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
