do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize