My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
