i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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