We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
