this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
