Don't you send me to vm
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
