if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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