It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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