I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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