You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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