what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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