Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just invented taco cereal.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
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I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
how does that bad decision feel?
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