I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
