You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I didn't notice because vodka
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
