i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
