If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
