I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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