we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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