i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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