"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
