I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
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You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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