what if every blade of grass was a penis?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
