The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize