You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize