And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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