I wish I could punch you in the face.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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