Where is the hickey?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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