just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?