You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
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The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
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Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.