I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny