Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
