God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
