Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
