She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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