North Korea, Best Korea!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
