I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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