What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
