Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
