He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize