dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
