Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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