ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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