i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
